Yes!  Arguing, disagreeing, having a spat, squabbling, quarreling, bickering and having a row can actually…KEEP HIM CLOSE!

Can you believe what I am saying?  

How can that be?   

Relationship is messy.  You know that right?  Everybody disagrees at times.  I used to hate conflict and I would run from it, until I understood its power.

I now understand the secret to it’s great value in keeping my man; any man committed and close.

I am not suggesting you pick a fight with him.  Nobody wants to fight. 

What I am suggesting is that you see it differently-when disagreements inevitably happen in your relationship.

You can choose to feel hurt, victimized, defend yourself, pout and cry.  You can push your needs or his under the rug and place your head ostrich-like in the sand…pretending it will all disappear which builds resentment on both sides.

…Or, you can choose something else! 

I talk a lot about vibrational frequency or “vibe” when relating to men.  I write about it in my ebook.  If you don’t have a copy, go to my website www.coachkatelyn.com and pick it up.  Have it delivered to your inbox right away!  My gift to you.  

I am not going to be one of those coaches who keeps you on the hook for what seems like forever and then says, buy this to get the “real” answer.  What a waste of your valuable time!  I do not want you to waste one more moment of your life mis-handling conflict, when instead you can learn to use it to your advantage to keep your man close. 

 

Let me explain:

One day I was loading Fable (the big, gorgeous white horse you see in the photos), onto his trailer…. And we were having an argument about it.  Fable seemed to want to run back to his herd and eat grass and I needed him to get in the trailer.  

I was feeling rushed.  I had scheduled a clinic for that day entitled, “Change Your Vibe- Change Your Life.”  It is part of a larger program that uses the magic of horses to help women understand themselves and their men.  I had an arena full of people and horses waiting for me and I was running out of time.  It was very unusual for me to be running late and even more unusual for Fable to refuse the trailer.  I can’t recall when the last time he did that.  Not today!  Today he had other ideas.

The argument looked like this:

I would ask him to get in the trailer and he did his best to avoid it.  After a few unsuccessful tries, it got to be pretty frustrating. And, this is a horse who loads himself onto a trailer. I just point, and he goes….  I was feeling the pressure of the situation and responded by trying my best to control things any way I could.

I kept thinking of the women who were counting on me and had paid a lot of money for my help.  All of them also counted on Fable to make his entrance.  People travel great distances to work with us as a team and I was worried about disappointing them.  

As a Whisperer, I understood I had to open my awareness to see the problem.  I questioned in that moment, “What wasn’t working?”  I had successfully done what I believed was the exact same thing (ask him to get into the trailer), hundreds of times before.  This time something had to be different for him to be so disagreeable.  What was it?  I looked at everything around us and surveyed the immediate environment for anything that might bother him and came up empty...and I still had an eye out that maybe there was something out there that I couldn’t see.

  I took time to carefully observe him…really look at him. Was he feeling ill or hurt?... Not that I could tell and still, I kept that notion in the back of my mind.  He was acting so weird.  I noticed his ears twitching, a tightness in his neck, a firmly set jaw, a swishing tail.  His heel was cocked, and his legs were planted.  Anyone who knows horses knows that that combination of micro-expressions is not good.  If he were a man he might appear like one who is angry, shut down and frustrated; like a guy about to explode.  We’ve all seen that look in a man.  

What does your man look like when you two are in conflict with each other? 

I had a schedule to keep and an uncooperative horse who was trying to tell me something and apparently, I wasn’t listening or seeing the entire picture. 

So, I went to the one place to find the source of the problem that people in the throws of an argument or conflict never think to look.

I looked inside ME!

I quickly assessed my emotions, physical sensations and feelings.  

I observed I felt a tightness in my chest.  I asked the tightness what message it had for me. I realized that I felt angry at myself for double scheduling my appointments.  I was feeling badly that I was missing an important family social function.  

I looked inside again and found a little pain in my heart area and another in the back of my neck. When I searched for meaning, I got that I was feeling resentful that my man was going to the event without me and sad that we had just had an argument about it.  The pain in my neck felt like the weight of the world on my shoulders.

And in that moment, I spied myself in the side mirror of the truck, I saw an image of me…. looking very much like Fable right down to the tightly set jaw.  If I had a tail, it would be wringing like crazy!

I took a deep breath and smiled.  I had just uncovered my “secret vibe”; the one I was really putting out there for the world to see but wasn’t aware of.  Even though I thought I appeared focused and neutral to Fable, I was “vib-ing” pushy, controlling, not listening, anger and frustration.  Basically, I was stuck in my “stuff.”

WOW!  Was this the vibe I wanted to bring to my horse or to the world?  

There is a process I teach you to help change your vibe and, in that moment, I used it on myself.  And then I exhaled let my entire agenda go…all of it.  

I sat down on the edge of the trailer and with every bit of love and compassion I could muster, I said, “OK buddy, I understand.  I hear you.  I cannot make you do what you do not want to do, so I’m leaving without you.  It makes me feel sad and I’m going to miss my friend and partner, but I have a job to do.” 

In that instant. Fable changed!  He lowered his head and nuzzled my cheek.  Then as if by magic, he walked onto the trailer.

Damn it!  I hate it when he is right!

Here is your “aha moment!”  

When your man is acting out, it is because your vibe is something he just can’t take.  He doesn’t necessarily want to leave you, but he doesn’t want to stay either.  He doesn’t know what to do…so he reacts and often that reaction is not pleasant.

Whisperer’s…. this is the magic you have been waiting for! 

Horses and men feel our intentions in a way we do not realize.  All problems with horses are human influenced and created by the vibrational energies or vibe we put out to them.  They act and react as a direct result of whatever vibe we present.   

Men are just like horses in the way that they react to our vibe.  They instinctively and accurately react to our even if we do not know what it is and even if they do not know they are doing it. They don’t often analyze their feelings.  They aren’t really in touch with them.  They are extremely sensitive, more sensitive than we are…and they react immediately to stimulus, (your vibe).  When your man is acting out… like the hind end of a horse, it is probably because your vibe is negatively affecting him.  

You can learn the techniques I use to observe him, access and identify your “secret vibe”, and then learn how to change it to something that makes him feel relaxed and safe.

Once you understand that his reaction is linked to your vibe you are half way there.  When you learn how to change your vibe, just like what I did with Fable, your man will change too, just like Fable did.  And like I said, “When a man or a horse feels good, safe and relaxed…they stay!”

There is great power in using horses to aid in Love and Relationship Coaching.  Horses are nature’s miracle in that they have the unique ability to show us, not who we think we are, but who we really are!  People who come and work personally with me and the horses get miraculous results.  

  It is a fact that men fall in love and stay in love with us because of how they feel about themselves when they are around us.  If they feel badly about themselves around us, they act out.  If they feel good, they show it.  

Most often we have little idea what we put out to the world.  The fact that horses can help us figure that out is a real breakthrough in therapy and coaching circles.  Equine assisted work has become hugely popular.  I have recently have developed unique programs to apply the same techniques I use in Horse Whispering, to help women get the life and relationship they want and deserve. What a find!  

I have a special invitation for those who are reading this.  Want to come out and experience the magic?  I invite you as a special opportunity to come out to personally work with me and my horses in a majestic- park-like setting in beautiful Colorado.   You will leave with powerful knowledge so few possess.  Your life will change.  I guarantee it.  It is an opportunity of a lifetime.  Interested?  Email me for details at katelyn@coachkatelyn.com 

Love,

Katelyn