What kind of man are you making excuses for?

Do you make excuses to yourself and others for your man?

Do you find yourself saying things like:

“Oh, he works so hard.  He is too tired to help with the chores and kids.”

“He experienced abuse as a child.  He doesn’t understand how to love.”

“His mother was controlling.  No wonder he is the way he is.”

“He’s just grumpy, but underneath he is so sweet.  Wait ‘til you get to know him.”

“The girls in the family did everything for the men when he was growing up.  He’s just traditional.”

“He had another engagement.  He sends his love.”

“He is just not ready.  I think he just needs more time to see how great I am.”

Is there something else you say to make excuses for your man?  Write me and tell me.  I am serious.  Yep!  I actually answer emails…ALL OF THEM!  My email address is:  Katelyn@coachkatelyn.com

Is he the guy who even though you run yourself ragged, twist yourself inside out to please him,  gives you little more than an occasional crumb of goodness in return for your hard work?  It seems you work harder and harder for the few crumbs of joy you have and you feel exhausted and defeated.

Perhaps you are making excuses for the kind of man who ignores you, controls or belittles you or demands from you.   Maybe the weaker you feel, the stronger and happier he seems?  He leaves you often feeling off balance, never quite good enough, alone and isolated.

Or,  perhaps you run things like a CEO runs a company as he lazily sits back and reaps the rewards of your efforts? He is nice and sweet.  He does nothing wrong.  He just does nothing.  How does that make you feel? 

How about the man who shows up only when he wants something?  He’s never around until he wants attention or a favor or sex. This man is wonderful to you until he gets what he needs, then he is gone again, leaving you with a giant cartoon-like, question mark above your head.  Where is he when Aunt Martha died or when your sister got married?  Do you find yourself making excuses for one of these?

Is your excuse of a man the one who is perfectly fine with the relationship as it is even though you have voiced your real concern?  He is the man who can’t hear you.  He dismisses your feelings and pain chalking it up to hormones or your just being too emotional or needy. According to him, things are fine.  If there is a problem, it is a flaw in your character that is to blame. Boy, that is a real self-esteem builder isn’t it?

Is there another kind of man you are dealing with that I haven’t mentioned?  

What do you want? 

What do you have?

Of course you don’t want the kind of men that I touched on.   Why would I even suggest something so crazy? 

I suggest it because many of us have exactly this kind of man in our lives, but do not want to see it.  Maybe if we keep our heads in the sand a little while longer or work a little harder, things will change.

There are a few things you can do right this minute to start to turn things around for you.  And at some point in time…and now might be a good time… we have to open our eyes and have the courage to look at it and see it for what it is, objectively, without blame and without drama.

“Wake up little Suzie”, as the Simon and Garfunkel song from the ‘80’s say’s, “WAKE UP!”

Open your eyes and say out loud, “This is the relationship I am in.  This is my man and this is who I am right now with this man in this relationship.  I have given up my power and I have given up myself somewhere along the way.  I have lost me!  And I have no earthly idea how I got here and how to fix the mess I am in.”

This is your life.  Can you fully accept it for what it is in this moment and also accept it for what it isn’t?  Can you stop living in the future or the past and tune in to RIGHT NOW, this moment?

Yes, It is going to sting.

 Go ahead and sob if you want to.  Please do. 

…And after you are done; after you have opened your eyes and really looked at your situation.

…And after you have accepted 100% of where you are right now.

…And after you have gotten it all out in the open, I want you to give yourself a huge hug from me and congratulate yourself for your bravery and courageous action.

If you have made it this far, you are over the biggest hurdle.  You have stepped through the door and there is no turning back to the way things were.  You are on your way.

Wipe your tears and reach out your hand.  Feel me taking it in mine.  You have support.  I have you now and I won’t let you fall.

Now I want you to write me an email at katelyn@coachkatelyn.com.  Set up a FREE consultation and know that you are on your way to having the love and relationship you want and deserve.

 Read and Understand This:

1. No relationship is perfect all the time, but it can be much of the time. 
2. The grass isn’t always greener…and occasionally it is.
3. You cannot change or fix another human being no matter how much you want to or how hard you try.
4. You can change the outcome of your story.  You can have the love you want.
5.  The change starts with you.

How many times have you heard the above cliché-like statements?  Enough to make you want to barf?  Yes, me too…..And I didn’t believe any of it.  I felt stuck and hopeless just like you until one day I was forced to figure it out.  That is another story for another day, but let me share that I went through absolute hell and almost died, trying to do everything I could to avoid doing the only thing that works.  And in my moment of deepest darkness, I figured it out.

I am hoping you don’t want to hit rock bottom like I did, before you get help.  And some of you will continue on until you just can’t stand it anymore. But a few of you, the ones who are ready, will step up and ask for help.  And I will be there. And you will be amazed at your results.

Some of you might even get angry at yourself for wasting so much time staying stuck once you see the clear sky ahead.  The one that I see every day; the one I can help you find.

 There is work involved.   I won’t lie.  I WILL ask you to work.  But the work I ask you to do is truly magic.  Not magic like the brand David Blaine or Ben and Teller practice.  I don’t use smoke and mirrors.  It’s magic because the parts of your life that weren’t working; the pieces of your relationship that are so painful right now, magically disappear- as a natural occurrence of being in the journey;  of taking the journey.

And, every woman’s journey is different.  Many women experience immediate results.  It can happen that quickly. 

Next is a big one.  I know you might not understand exactly how to do the things am suggesting.  There is a learning curve for sure.  However, it is a safe bet that if you keep on doing what you have been doing, you will get more of what you have always gotten. 

What have you got to lose?  

Every day you wait is another day spent spinning your wheels.  I am giving you bits of the kinds of things to come when you work with me.  You will soon see the change you are after. And when you do, it will be an exciting time for you!

Stop doing what you have been doing because it isn’t working for you and follow these 4 rules.  I can tell you that if you follow them, you will be on your way.

1.     Trust YOU. Trust yourself that you can do this. I am not better than you and I did it.  If I can, why can’t you?

2.     Trust your boundaries.  It isn’t important that you trust anyone else….not even your man. When you trust in you and your boundaries, he will too. 

3.     Choose your words carefully.  I can teach you how to speak to him in a way that matters!  He will listen.  I promise.

4.     Learn to be surprised!  Just like a child who is seeing much of life for the first time, I want to show you how to quit living in the past or like you can predict the future.  YOU don’t know what is going to happen.  Quit acting as if you do….or it will surely happen just the way you think and you will get what you have always gotten.

I am sorry that I cannot give explanation of just how to do each one of these things.  There is a skill set to be learned; one that I can teach you. 

How do I know it will work for you and your situation?  Simple.  You are still here.  That means you have what it takes to go the distance.  It means you are tired of empty promises and “Coffee Shop Miracle Cures”, (The ads you see promising help for less than a week of Starbucks).

Start right now….

Love,

Katelyn