I became completely unhinged when I heard about the mass shooting at the Christian School in Nashville. I am not here to bash transgenderism, Christianity, right or left wing politics or any of that which has all but taken over mainstream media lately. I am here to look at the root cause of all of it.

I suspect that many if not all of these crimes and outrageous behaviors have their deepest roots in shame. Narcissism has its roots in shame, so does sociopathy and psychopathy. Shame, or lack of it permeates, divides and controls our lives.

What if all that is happening, all this shameless behavior, ie…..the extreme uptic in trnasgenderism and even people identifying as furries and hawks, Madonna’s outrageous facial surgery, Sam Smth’s satan worship on international stage, the sexual grooming of our kids in schools,the argument over drag queens….the aim total of outlandish radical behavior we are seeing….What if it is a revolt against shame?

Shame is the most powerful negative motivator we have in our society and it runs neck and neck with fear. Instead of a society that is shame an fear based, we are rewarding shamelessness! We see it on social media. Kim Kardashian for example, represents unabashed shamelessness and she is rewarded with millions for a sex tape. The Balenciaga advertising scandal showing little girls with S&M teddy bears. Shameless. Comedians are getting increasingly brazen. The ruthlessness with which our political parties promote character assassination, thus shame is absolutely without conscience. We are becoming increasingly divided as a result.

We are living in a war-zone. It doesn’t matter whether we have guns or not. This is a war of shame vs shamelessness. It started with the “everyone gets a trophy,” back when millennials were in grade school and we thought it was a great idea - a way to signify that all are appreciated equally. That wasn’t the right way to do it. What we should have been doing is rewarding each for their individual talents and achievements and encouraging kids to march to their own drummer. What we got for our misbegotten efforts is a generation of entitlement. And I digress.

I saw photos of the shooter when she was a child. She was a very sweet little girl. I took note of the fact that her parents were devout and extreme CHristians. What happened to that kid? I left the church behind because much of the trauma I suffered had its roots in the confines of the Catholic Church. Note that it was not God that I abandoned, just the church, it in itself is inimrtant except for that I began to understand that shame based trauma is a powerful motivator.

That is not to say that offering a bit of shame i not useful. I think of how many young people live either with their parents or in their parent’s basement. When I was young, you could be shamed by your peers for doing so. Today it is a badge of honor and celebrated. Conversely, a bit of shamelessness is healthy. Women no longer hide their pregnancy underneath tent-like clothing. Being a mom should be celebrated! But where do we draw the lne?

Trauma left unnoticed or untreated causes mental, emotional, physical and spiritual illness. I am in no way saying religion is evil. Religion and family are the glue that holds our society together. There is a line to be drawn between healthy beliefs and tyranny.

Shame creates seclusion and oppression and shamelessness creates chaos and anarchy. There is little sense and sensibility in either. We need to find a middle ground; better yet, higher ground. I do not have an answer.