You are by now, familiar with my work. 

It is all about empowering you to be so comfortable with you, so authentic in who you are, so vibrant with feelings and feminine energy, so sure about your own amazing and unique qualities…so truly alive, that men are naturally attracted to the bright light that you are organically. 

I just read an article; an excerpt from a book about why men marry and who they marry. 

You have to know that I keep abreast of what is being written about love and relationships. Truthfully, I am sometimes suspect of things I see out there.

Not because I think other coaches and writers are sleazy or manipulative, (and there are those…on both sides).

But because I do coach both genders, I understand that, “What is good for the goose is not always good for the gander.”

This is something I took from the article.

Let me know what you think about it.

The Six Basic Guidelines For Women To Get Married

1. Insist on it. 
2. If you find yourself in a dead-end relationship, move on. 
3. Love yourself first. 
4. Commit yourself to the idea of getting married. 
5. Keep in shape, watch your weight, and take care of your appearance. 
6. Time is running out—use time wisely in your search for the marrying man. 

Look at it carefully.  The first 4 are pretty good advice although they might have been better spoken with a bit of clarification.  I love number 3, but will let the others pass with a solid nod.

I question the verbiage in the 5th one.  Although on the surface, it seems innocent enough,  I have definite feelings about the inference that unless you look like a supermodel, you are not ever going to measure up to “the competition.”

That feels so wrong on many levels.

The writer might have said, “Be the best you, you can be.  Honor yourself with a healthy diet and exercise and wear clothing that suits you, your lifestyle and personality.”

 Is there any way to prepare for 6th one?  What the heck does that mean?  Time is running out!

How does it make you feel to read that!

….Desperate, worried, pressured or stressed or worse?

The writer could have said, “Don’t waste your time on physically or emotionally unavailable guys… like gay guys, married guys or separated guys in the throes of divorce.”

In case you haven’t guessed, this was written by a man. I’m sure he’s a well meaning and nice man, but all of the emphasis was on what’s out there for the man, not uncovering, honoring and loving what makes you female…uniquely and wonderfully, you. 

I understand this writer did not mean anything bad by what he said, but when I read it, I felt an immediate tension in my chest. It played to every lie and distortion I teach women to ignore.

It seemed to aid in taking away your power instead of strengthening it …with just a few words!

I am choosing to believe he is trying to help and he simply does not understand his audience.

I apologize upfront, if it appears I am picking on men or other coaches.  I do not intend either.  

I know you are looking for love and relationship advice or you wouldn’t be reading this. 

And you might even be feeling pressure, anxiety or distress. 

I am using this piece to teach you how to choose what advice to heed and what to ignore.  Some of both can be found in the very same article by the very same coach or author. 

Give it the feeling test.  If any advice or coach makes you feel worse about yourself or feel bad about yourself for being who you are or in the situation you are in…  Question it. 

How does it make you feel?

Let me know. 

Love in Whispers, 

Coach Katelyn