It has taken me years to find a title or label that adequately describes what I do. I am an Equine Assisted Healer, sure, but even that doesn’t quite adequately describe my talent, gifts or abilities.
I have worked with hundreds of horses in my career. I don’t advertise myself as a trainer anymore because I have come to the hard fought realization that horse training must include the personal development of both horse and human simultaneously in order to be truly effective in honoring the relationship between the two. They are not mutually exclusive. I have been around long enough to know that people who come to me— do not have horse problems, their horses have people problems. And I say that with love.
I have expanded my credentials to include intensive coaching with people on improving their life whether or not a horse is in the mix. I specialize in the area of abuse and trauma recovery as well as general life affirming tips and strategies. Whether or not we include the horse in our work or work long distance over phone or teleconference, the method and results are much the same.
When using interaction between the horse and human in human development and coaching, it never ceases to amaze me how uncannily accurate horses are in their ability to show me the state of the human through that interaction with them. Its magical!
When I was very young, I thought everyone could see what I see and do what I do. I was naïve. I learned over time, they can’t. Anyone can learn, but it is a very disciplined skill set that takes time, practice and patience. Mine is a rare skill indeed; a mixture of art and science. In my professional travels over the years, I have met perfectly adequate horse trainers and riding instructors who have little clue about the human component and I have met equine assisted therapists who can certainly help the human, but have absolutely no idea how what they are doing with that human is effecting the horse. Both modalities in their attempt to do good, but acting separately, tend to be lacking; injurious even. I have found it is often a disservice to both horse and human.
When in the company of a horse, it is a natural occurrence that the horse, by their very nature will bring up the unhealed wounds in a person. Who knew? I do. I can predict it like clockwork. I also know from experience that if there is woundedness in the horse it will also show up when in the company of a human. And it shows up in ways we often mistake for misbehavior.
What unskilled trainers, riding instructors, horse enthusiasts and therapists often mistake for behavioral issues in the horse, is the horse trying to tell us in the only way they know how that they are either hurting; physically or emotionally or their needs are not being taken seriously. We tend to call these horses, “opinionated”.
Opinion has nothing to do with it. What horses are also trying to convey is it is not always them who has the behavioral issue, wound or trauma at all, it is their human counterpart whose attitude needs adjusting and healing needs to be addressed. The horse is simply trying to share that information. To the unskilled, the horse is accused of misbehavior. Talk about shooting the messenger!
It is up to the professional to figure out which dynamic is happening and when. And do horses ever simply misbehave? Absolutely. Just like humans. I have the wisdom to know the difference. Often times the behavior from the horse is very subtle. It takes a trained eye for sure. And when the unwanted behavior is obvious, the horse is sometimes punished simply for trying to speak to us and clue us in on the truth. You see, horses don’t lie, humans do. And they do it a lot. It is very sad.
What you need to understand is horses by nature do not abuse or emotionally wound their young. Humans do. Unless a horse has been injured or is ill, if that horse is acting out, it is human generated. And if a human is wounded by abuse or trauma, it is also human generated. So, when I say, a good trainer or instructor also needs to be a good therapist, I make no apologies for my words. And when I politely suggest an equine assisted therapist might want to seriously consider the “opinions”or needs of the horse, as a professional in the area of the workings of the mind, they should know better. I shouldn’t have to speak out or up.
How on earth does someone who doesn’t understand both horse and human behavior, help a horse who has been hurt by human behavior? How would they even be equipped to identify the problem? Often times they can’t and they don’t. And how can the human learning to ride, work through their unhealed wounds with a riding instructor or trainer who has no idea how to deal with human wounding and woundedness? That said, unless and until those issues are addressed, there will be a clear and omnipresent roadblock to their progress individually and in concert.
Unfortunately, what most often happens is the horse will learn to shut down or act out to avoid further injury by humans. They become completely dull or hard to manage. It’s way easier to help a horse who is still “misbehaving.” Once they become dull and shut down, it is much more difficult. They may seem compliant, but there is a definite distinction between quietly well mannered and shut down and dissociated.
Is it any different for humans? I don’t think so. And that is what makes my work equally unique and exceedingly effective. I help uncover the root cause of the problem and heal it from the inside out. Lives are irrevocably changed for the better. There is only temporary reprieve by putting a bandaid on, or dealing with the symptom. The symptom is a tool to help us find the root of the problem. The real work is much deeper. For further information or a FREE consultation, contact me Katelyn@coachkatelyn.com