Say Goodbye to your Relationship and WATCH HIM FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU…. all over again.
Pull the plug on your relationship! Cut the wire! Stop the music! Hit the kill switch!
DO NOT RESUSCITATE!
I want you to throw your relationship out the window. Toss it into the wind right now!
Why would I, a relationship coach whose life’s work is dedicated to saving relationships, tell you to do something so insane?
It wasn’t until 2 very small and seemingly unrelated events happened in my life, that I understood the power of what I just asked you to do.
One day, very early in the morning, I was sitting in the living room drinking a cup of coffee, looking out the window and surveying the mountain of flowers I had planted over the weekend.
I frowned as I saw a problem that had been nagging at me for months. A very large tattered and unruly juniper tree all but blocked my view of my pretty garden. I had thought about removing it completely but, anyone who has tried that knows it’s not an easy task. And I have this thing about killing trees. Like relationships, I want to save them! And, I had let this juniper be a thorn in my side for way too long.
I looked over at my man who was also drinking his coffee and no doubt pondering something as he often does in the early morning and started talking to him about the juniper. Instead of answering the question I asked, he mumbled something inaudible, got up and left the room.
A few days later I was at the barn walking with my giant Unicorn of a wonder-horse Fable. I needed to tend to a small wound on his leg and so we were headed to the wash area located on the other side of the property. I rarely halter him. It just isn’t something I think much about. I motion him to come with me; no big deal. But, on this day, he got about half way to our destination and took off at a gallop and left me standing there. I watched as he ran the entire ¼ mile drive to the gate and then turn around and run about half-way back and stop to eat the grass that lined the drive. I started to go after him and signaled him to come back to me. I said something like, “Are you kidding? What do you think you are doing? You’d best listen.”
But then, suddenly my throat felt like it closed and cut off my words mid-sentence. I couldn’t speak.
My heart sank, and tears started to form in the corner of my eyes and roll down my cheeks.
In that moment, it hit me that my man did a very similar thing a few days prior. Both man and horse simply got up and left me alone while I was trying to communicate something important to me. With the triggering of the mental image of the scene between my partner and me, came a rush of emotion that I had not expected. After all, Fable was just being a horse; doing horsey things.
Or, was he?
And what does one have to do with the other?
Now I was crying and angry at both of them. I felt small and ignored and invisible and full of rage!
I heard my voice stammering, “Nothing I say or do matters.” And I sat down on a rock and sobbed.
I cried for me and how crappy I felt.
I replayed scenes in my head of how many times I had asked my man a question or texted him and I never got an answer…And that made me cry harder.
I conjured up a recent memory when we had both passed each other on a country road driving in opposite directions. We both stopped. But, it was me that backed the 200 yards to his truck. He just sat there and waited for me to do all the backing….and when I got there, he wasn’t smiling and had nothing to say. I remember how foolish I had felt. I cried about that too.
I cried for the many times I remembered reaching out to him in the middle of the night hoping for connection and he never responded with a touch or the hug I needed.
And then out of nowhere, whilst in the midst of my memory lane-pity party, I was unceremoniously dumped from my rock and found myself sprawled on the ground. I was so caught up in my angst, I hadn’t noticed my horse quietly walk to me and stand by me. He had to bump me off the rock with his nose to get my attention. Imagine that!
And as suddenly as the floodgates opened, my tears stopped, and I understood what I had to do.
I climbed up onto the same rock he tossed me from, hopped on Fable and rode him over to some wildflowers growing in the pasture. I slid off his back and picked as many as I could find. There were dandelions and daisy’s, purple fringe and horsemint with its bluish feathery petals. I took them over to the irrigation canal and with shaky hands, I delicately placed some of them in the water. I said a little prayer because everybody says a prayer, right? And then, with a kiss to the sky, I said goodbye to the relationship with my man.
I let go of most everything I knew that day.
Then, I thanked Fable for his wisdom and let the rest of the flowers float downstream as I forgave myself and my man for our humanity.
Next, I did something a little crazy!
Did I leave the love of my life behind?
Of course not!
I asked the Universe to show me how to create a new relationship; one where both of us are happy - and we both get our needs and desires met. And as I was speaking, the Whisperer in me came forth. I noticed, Fable already had answered my prayer.
I have often said men and horses act much the same around a relationship. Fable had shown me that the more I tried to barge in, control, push, impose my will, the more discomfort and resentment it caused and the less he or my man wanted to be around me. The more I barked orders without first noticing his wants and needs, the more it suffocated him and the relationship.
As a Whisperer, I have known that for years. So, why then was I still screwing things up at home?
It seems the Whisperer and Coach had a fool for a client.
But not anymore!
I left the barn...a woman inspired!
When I got home, the first thing I did was vow to be more conscious when and what and how I spoke. The phrase “Choose your words carefully”, comes to mind. The next thing I did was take a hard look at that old tangled neglected mess of a juniper tree. You know, the one that started this whole thing?
... the one that all but choked off my view of the beautiful garden I had created, and the one that reminded me of myself and how blocked I was.
I called an Arborist. She trimmed the old dead branches and by the time she was done, it was TRANSFORMED!
It looked like a totally new tree! …one that complimented our beautiful garden.
Then I got to work as the Arborist I’d hired and set out to trim old branches and redesign the piece of the relationship I could control…ME!
And I did it!
Those 2 seemingly unrelated scenes from my life are the inspiration for a NEW program I offer called, “Relationship Reset.”
Relationship Reset is Amazing. It is an exciting program I designed for women whose relationships seem to be spinning out of control, have gotten stale or need an infusion of new energy and life. Relationship Reset helps women just like you, re-invent yourself and your love-life. And he won’t know what hit him…but he’ll like it.
So, if you are interested in breathing new life into your tired relationship, or if your man seems further away the closer you try to come, let Relationship Reset be your guide.
Contact me at www.coachkatelyn.com or write to me: Katelyn@coachkatelyn.com and let’s get started!
Love in Whispers,
Katelyn