I read an article about a 26-year-old-man who filmed himself licking a row of deodorant sticks at Walmart and then posted it on social media. Seriously? Okay, they arrested him for terrorist activity, but that is not my point. A NYC nurse on the front lines died a few days ago, shortly after texting her sister, “I’m OK”. I saw a video on instagram of twin two-year-old boys spinning around in circles while hitting each other with pillows and screaming, “Out germs! Germs go away!”
Humans are showing their true colors now. And I do not mean that judgmentally. We’re witnessing humans of all backgrounds react to these unprecedented conditions. We can’t help but eventually show who we really are. Should we be angry at the Walmart video? How about the twin boys? Should we smile? Should we be saddened by losing the nurse?
Looking Beyond the Surface
My reaction to each of those was not quite what you would expect. The Walmart video triggered an immediate adrenaline shot of rage, but it was quickly replaced with sadness and compassion, then curiosity. What was really going on with this kid? Was he so abused and filled with self-loathing that he was acting out in the only way he knew? Was he mentally impaired? Was he just a mean a-hole? I really don’t know. But there are a lot of people out there reacting similarly.
And the nurse? If I were her sister, what would I be feeling now? Did the nurse tell a lie? Was anyone aware of just how sick she was? Was it a true loving gesture? Is she a hero? Again, I don’t know why she did what she did. I’m not judging. I looked at it as this is indicative of how some people will react.
The most disturbing to me was the video of the two-year-old twins. I had a hard time staying neutral about this one. It was hilarious at first. I laughed out loud watching two kids spinning until they fell over, beating each other with bed pillows. But then I saw these two little humans were perhaps dealing with their very real fear in the only way they knew how…to beat the germs up and make them go away. It made me wonder how kids are being encouraged and taught by the actions of their parents as to how to deal with this invisible killer that is living among us. What will our children take away from this? Are their fears and concerns being addressed responsibly? At all?
It’s happening! We are being pushed to our limits, and whether we like it or not, we are beginning to see who we really are as people; as a species. What are our true colors as humans? What are your true colors?
Show Your Colors: A Quick Exercise
Take out a piece of paper, a pen and a mirror. View yourself in the mirror and really look into those eyes that are staring back at you. What emotions are you feeling? What thoughts are popping up? Are you angry at the guy who you saw clearing the store shelves of toilet paper while pushing two carts full of frozen food? Were you that guy? Are you feeling fear perhaps at seeing the Washington Post article of endless coffins in an Italian church? Does it bring up feelings of your own mortality or perhaps that of your partner and family members? Or are you pissed off that you had to explain irresponsible journalism to your 9 year old? Are you the grocery store clerk who goes into work no matter what? Or did you yell at some person for not paying attention to social distancing, bumping you with her cart? What are you feeling? WRITE IT DOWN. Write down all of your feelings.
Next, stare into that mirror again and think about how you are reacting to all of those emotions. How much is conscious and how much is unconscious and just reactive? WRITE IT DOWN.
Do you like what you see? Especially if you don’t and even if you do, GIVE YOURSELF A BIG HUG AND A BREAK. Love yourself for all that you are and for all that you are not.
Our Invisible Patterns
Most of your unconscious reactions don’t even belong to you. They are part of your genetic patterning; your familial DNA. Patterns that your family has carried forward generation after generation. But patterns, like colors can be shifted and changed. The first step is awareness. And that is all you need to do - notice and be aware. And with a little practice and help, the rest will start to shift all by itself.
We cannot change others. We can only seek to love ourselves and others enough to want to change those patterns in ourselves that don’t serve us anymore. At one point in history, that very same pattern you want to change was useful at the time of its inception or it wouldn’t have been created. It doesn’t know it has outlived its usefulness.
Your ego holds onto every one of those outdated patterns with as much gusto as it holds onto useful ones. That is its job. Discernment, unfortunately, isn’t your ego’s strong suit. Simply being mindful that you are hanging onto a ship (or an entire fleet of ships) that should have sailed long ago should free you up a little. Once you are aware, you can start to let go. That destructive pattern in the angry young man in the Walmart video? At some point in history that same pattern may have saved a life. I’m hoping he picked up the wake-up call as to why that one doesn’t work anymore. Jail is not very forgiving.
There is no power in living in the past. How we choose to present our colors right now, today matters. Seek to paint a colorful rendition of yourself that you would like to see in the world. Be that change and you change the world.
Love,
Katelyn