Stop Competing for Any Man. Get THE Man.

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Dating sucks for many of us. 

It is hard.

It’s time consuming. 

If dating feels icky to you for whatever reason, read on.

I think mostly what we hate about dating is we hate that underlying competitive feeling that courses through our veins whenever we think about it. We deliberate over the thousands of imaginary goddesses with porcelain skin and perfect hair and bodies that are out there just waiting, ripe for the picking and we measure ourselves against these make-believe foe’s that look like Wonder Woman and have PhD’s to boot.

We have been taught to believe to win the dating game, we must “UP” everything.  We “up our game.  We dress-up, make- up, put our hair- up, tone-up, up-date and more to compete with fairy tale princesses for a man’s attention we might not even have met yet. 

Well it is true that we do sense something that’s up when we begin to date…but it’s not what you think.  Mostly we are sensing without realizing it, is that something must be off if it feels so hard. 

Your body is telling you in a very subtle way that you are “F-ing-up”, royally.  This is exhausting… and please, please stop.

And your body is correct!  Listen to it.

It is trying to tell you that you have no competition, so STOP competing!

You see Whisperer’s, dating is not about “up-ing” anything except how we view ourselves. That is the one block that keeps on “F-ing us up”, and until we learn to shift it, we will continue to struggle.

Ladies, I know it sounds foreign to you, but you have got to understand, you have your thinking all wrong and men feel it.  They don’t know what it is that they feel when they are being chased by a woman and they do not care.  All they know is doesn’t work for them. 

Men, by design must work for their wins. They need to do the job of a man and pursue and follow the prize to make it worthwhile to them.  Men need to see you as a woman worth having.  You can’t chase the prize and be the prize at the same time and neither can men!  No wonder you are exhausted.

Quit running yourself and him ragged and around in circles!

What you really need to get through your head is YOU ARE THE PRIZE.  The sooner you do that, the easier and more fun this dating thing is going to be.

Let me prove it to you with one question: 

Why is it that the men that want you and pursue you are most often the men you don’t want?

Because dear Whisperer’s, your vibe; your unconscious energetic attitude that you put out to them and their world, tells them clearly that you are special and of high value…at least higher value than them…and unless they step-up and up their game, the show’s over for them.  It switches on every primal instinct they have! 

It doesn’t mean that you treat men like crap and become rude or nasty.  That, “be the bitch theory,” is also a lie. 

It means that when you begin seeing yourself as the goddess and prize that you are; the real one among the imaginary ones in your head, you begin speaking to the real fundamental part of a man.  You speak to his heart.

So, what do you do when that old icky feeling breaks the surface, when you fear there is some fictitious woman out there who was placed on the earth to thwart you? Let her have whoever and whatever you think she is after.  Let it go. 

Breathe deep and for all the right reasons, remember…

YOU ARE THE PRIZE!

Love in Whispers, 

Coach Katelyn